Most of us can count our lucky stars that we don't have to go away to war and both see and do appalling things. Of all the troops sent to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan, 20% of them came back diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). And that's just the ones that are known about - it's estimated that about the same number again either developed the symptoms later so they weren't diagnosed, or purposely hid the issue so as not to be saddled with a "mental illness" label. So that's 40% then.

One of them is my cousin Shaun. Since he came back from Iraq 5 years ago, his severe depression and PTSD has been a constant factor in his life. He is haunted by the hideous memories of what happened in Iraq, memories that have resulted in multiple instances of self-harming and 3 suicide attempts.

Please pause for a moment and think how bad those memories must be if suicide seems like a reasonable option.

But there is a light in the darkness and it comes from music, specifically Motorhead and their charismatic leader Lemmy. The music isn’t healing, but it does help him get through the darker moments. The pure rock and roll experience of an incredibly loud gig by Motorhead is all-encompassing. All other thoughts are pushed out and for a while there is just the music: the ghosts of the past are forgotten. Just listening to the music later can have the same effect.

I asked Shaun what song to mention and he gave me 2: Killed By Death (which is my title) and Overkill:

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Only way to feel the noise is when it's good and loud,
So good you can't believe it screaming with the crowd,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, Overkill

On your feet you feel the beat, it goes straight to your spine,
Shake your head you must be dead if it don't make you fly,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, Overkill

Know your body's made to move, you feel it in your guts
Rock 'n' roll ain't worth the name if it don't make you strut,
Don't sweat it, get it back to you, Overkill

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I know this music may not be the sort that many of my readers like, but try and imagine yourself at the gig in the video. It’s absolutely ear-splittingly loud, so loud that your ears will still be ringing 3 days later, the crowd are a roaring, seething, shouting mass of people all their for the same thing, all loving it, and for a couple of hours you can forget the horrors of the past and immerse yourself in the music. That’s what this means to Shaun.

Tom.

P.S. I'll be back to my more usual blogging style tomorrow.

P.P.S. I've just learned that Shaun was actually at the gig above, which was in Dusseldorf and the whole thing is on the dvd Stage Fright.